Don't Drink the Data
by three-halfs-crazy
Summary: Fuji is thirsty. Inui is just nearby. Very slight FujixInui ooc one-shot


_A/N: I love strange pairings, and I wanted to try this idea out. _

_Warnings: hints at yaoi/s-ai OOC Inui… yeah, quite ooc. _

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Inui and Fuji stood side by side in front of a juice machine, waiting for the next semi-final match to begin. Light glinted mysteriously off Inui's glasses and he held a pen and notebook in one hand; certainly a sight to be feared. Fuji was smiling—he didn't need any props to look evil.

"I can't imagine it would be as good as your homemade juice, but this will have to do." Fuji motioned to the machine, while trying to decide between onion-radish flavored iced coffee and pickled grape iced tea.

"The latest prototype is not quite ready yet. And I would prefer if people don't pass out after sampling it." It seems no one would let poor Inui forget the bowling episode. Fuji's hand hovered for a second over the buttons, and the other boy raised his pen.

"Tell me Inui" Fuji asked, still deliberating on his drink choice "If I were to drop this coin right now, what's the probability that it would roll under the machine?"

"34" It appeared that the tensai's smile had just increased a fraction, but even for a practiced observer like Inui, it was hard to tell.

"And how did you get that conclusion?"

"The mass of the coin is 5.34g, you're holding it level with your elbow, which proportionally is 7/10 your height (167cm), using this information, one can calculate the acceleration rate of the coin and the force with which it will hit the ground, which is made of concrete material that will provide 3g/cm friction pressure, from which can be calculated the deceleration rate of the coin. From there it is a simple matter of geometry to deduce the angle at which the coin will roll that will keep it within range of being lost under the machine within the set distance of movement, an angle that when divided by 360 will produce the required percentage."

Halfway through the speech, Fuji had stepped closer to the data boy, and now he rested his hand lightly on Inui's shoulder. This was rather distracting, the taller boy mused. Distracting enough in fact, that he had forgotten to tell Fuji to factor in the rate of rotation of the coin.

Fuji leaned closer still.

"Is that so?"

"W— well yes." Why was he stuttering? Inui never stuttered! And why was Fuji touching him? The prodigy's fingers combed through the short hair at the base of Inui's neck.

"And you calculated this all in your head? How clever." Inui was frozen in place. He could feel Fuji's breath on his neck as he spoke.

"And could you calculate one more thing for me?" Slender fingers turned the taller boy's head so he was looking directly into blue eyes.

"…ah…well..." The smile didn't falter a millimeter.

"If I were to buy two of these drinks and pay 500 yen, how much change will I get?"

Unfortunately, Inui's brain had somewhat shut down.

_Right, yen. 130 per bottle. …but look at his eyes! They look like liquid…could I find their viscosity? …no! Focus. Drinks 500 yen a piece, with how much did he pay again? O that smile. It's almost a parabola…if the ends were extended… that would be x2-… Wait, the change! How much did it cost? What's he buying? What? _

But Fuji was leaning closer, grinning like a cat.

"Well?"

Well? Well what? I should say something! Anything! Uhh… 

"It's… it's….. Pi square roots of three!!!!"

Inui stepped back finally, and his brain clicked on as Fuji cocked his head to one side, still smiling.

"**Ahem**… I mean the answer is 240 yen."

"I see." Fuji pushed a button (tofu cabbage soda) and looked at Inui while retrieving his drink. He tilted his head back, pouring some of the liquid into his mouth, and swiped his tongue across the rim to catch a spare drop. If one had been able to see through the glint on the other boy's glasses, they would notice his eyes widen.

"Oh" said Fuji, stepping forward to trap Inui between himself and the machine. "Did you want one too?"

"Ah, I'm fine thank you." Inui took the opportunity to slip away, and grabbed his tennis racket, heading towards a quieter area.

He sat on a park bench and opened a notebook, pen in hand.

Discovered today that my data on one Fuji Syuusuke is highly incomplete. Must quickly remedy the situation, preferably before next practice. If possible.

Then Inui wandered off in search of a drink. All that thinking had made his mouth rather dry.

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ok, so that was rather pointless. But reviews would still be appreciated!


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